Overwhelmed by Parenting?
TAKE FIVE!

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Being a parent is one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences you will have during your lifetime.

However, when you start to feel overwhelmed, keep these five tips in mind to reduce stress and make parenting easier and more enjoyable:

Remember that all parents get frustrated

Children require a lot of time and energy, and parenting is even more difficult if you have additional problems or worries in your life, such as finances, your job or relationships. To be a good parent, you must take care of yourself. If you feel like you have reached your limit, get the help you need. Take the first step by contacting the Child Development Infoline at (800) 505-7000 to learn about the support programs and resources available to you.

Take a break - or just take five

Everyone needs time to themselves - or a few hours to catch up on sleep! If another adult lives in your household, take turns getting away or sleeping late on the weekends. If you're a single parent, ask a friend or relative to help by running errands for you or watching your child while you go out. In a situation where no one is available to lend a hand, take five - five deep breaths, five steps back, five seconds to collect yourself and avoid acting on impulse.

Manage your temper

Many parents lose their temper with their children. It is okay to feel angry, but it's not okay to take out your feelings on your child. When you've reached your boiling point, remove yourself from the situation. Take your children for a walk or call a friend to help you. If you feel angry with your child almost every day, or have trouble managing your temper, talk to your doctor or call the Child Development Infoline.

Avoid spanking

The goal of discipline is to teach a child self-control. Spanking only teaches children to avoid an action out of fear, shame and embarrassment.

Teach as you discipline

Instead of spanking, try "redirecting" with infants and toddlers. When you redirect a child, you replace an unwanted behavior with an acceptable one. For example, if throwing a ball in the house isn't allowed, take your child outside to throw the ball. With older children, try to get them to see the consequences of their actions and take responsibility for them. For example, explain to your son that everyone had to wait for dinner because he didn't set the table. Then explain that he must wash the dishes after dinner because he failed to set the table before dinner.

Just as there is no such thing as a perfect child, a perfect parent does not exist. But there are ways you can establish a strong bond with your child and give her a happy, healthy childhood:

• Show your love. Tell your children every day that you love them. Show affection through hugs and kisses.
• Listen when your children talk. By doing so, you are telling your child that what he has to say is important.
• Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they are scared, and show that you have taken steps to protect them.
• Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you must change the schedule, let them know ahead of time.
• Praise your children. When your child learns something new or behaves well, tell her you're proud.
• Criticize the behavior, not the child. When a child makes a mistake, don't say, "You were bad." Explain what the child did wrong and what he should do instead: "Running into the street without looking isn't safe. First, look both ways for cars."
• Be consistent. Your rules don't have to be the same as other parents', but they must be clear and consistent. If two parents are raising the child, both must enforce the same rules. Make sure babysitters and other caregivers follow your rules, as well.
• Spend time with your children. Take a walk, read or play together. Children most want your attention. Without it, they will resort to negative behavior to make you take notice.

Tips adapted from American Family Physician, March 15, 1999.

For additional parenting help, or for connections to support in your community, call the Child Development Infoline at (800) 505-7000.

For provider information please click here.